Q. What are the Binghamton Review’s principles?
A. See page three, you fucking moron.
Q. What are the most significant things the Review has accomplished, both specifically and conceptually, in its history and during your service?
A. Freeing the slaves, landing on the moon and ending communism. Oh, and destroying
Q. What attracts you to the Review?
A. The Review’s support for traditional gender roles.
Q. What are some important things that distinguish the Review from other campus publications?
A. We don’t suck.
Q. The Review is known for attacking other campus publications in its pages. Why? What does it accomplish? Are there any reactions from those publications that are notable and you’d like to mention?
A. In order of questions asked: Because they suck. To prove they suck. Probably, but we
don’t really care… because they suck.
Q. If the Binghamton University campus ever became predominantly conservative rather than liberal, how do you think the role of the Review would change in campus life?
A. The Binghamton Review would be printed bi-weekly. On Tuesdays and Fridays, in fact.
And we’d have large white racks to distribute on. Life would be better.
Q. The Review tends to focus on politics and campus issues. Is there any interest within the Review staff in doing a section on Arts & Entertainment, Science, or anything else?
Q. Are there any faculty members that know you well? If so, who?
A. Only the ones that actively support terrorism. We know them very well.