Alcoholism: A healthy young child goes to doctor, gets pumped with massive shots of many liquors, doesn’t feel good and changes – ALCOHOLISM. Many such cases!
Barbaric: A business major
Career fair: The thing Navy recruiters will desperately beg you to come to through tears
Dopamine withdrawal: How life feels in the long breaks between Binghamton Review issues being published.
E.D.: What you’ll inexplicably get halfway through undergrad.
Fent heaven: What Harpur’s ferry pulls you out of.
G-spot: Where the gangsters on campus hang out. Right….?
Two-factor authentication: Please get the browser extension on your computer if you haven’t already. It will save you days.
Heaven’s Gate: Where the campus preacher wants to send you.
Ianto Jones: My man my man with a pterodactyl and a robot girlfriend my man my man
Jorking it: Me rn lol
Ketamine: Must I go on?
Library smoking spot: In the alcove right of the entrance after the bridge between Lecture Hall and Bartle, it’s the G-spot where all the gangsters hang out.
My mom: She says we can have a sleepover if your mom says it’s okay we can watch Aquamarine does your mom say it’s okay my mom even bought cokes
Target dog: It’s a shame that it got discontinued, though some may not remember it at all due to brainwashing.
Nitrous oxide: I LOVE INHALING GALAXY GAS
Ovulation: Why do women keep writing about this and sending it to Binghamton Review?
Premier public ivy: What your parents tell their friends so they don’t feel like they failed.
Quaaludes: BRING BACK THEM FUCKING QUAALUDES! ALL YOU YOUNG PEOPLE CAN TAKE ALL YOUR COCAINE, MARIJUANA, AND ALL YOUR DESIGNER DRUGS AND SHOVE ‘EM UP YOUR FUCKING ASS! THERE”S NOTHING LIKE A FUCKING QUAALUDE! (Respect to the Big Man—R.I.P.)
Reddit readers: Despite their claims to “media literacy,” they can’t help but make hate threads about our “humor”-tagged articles.
Semesters: The fancy, long version of quarters.
Tuggin’ it: You might think this is the same thing as “jorkin’ it,” but believe me, they are two very different things. (It makes it longer)
Union bussin’: Not to be confused with union-busting, is it a commuter’s best friend? Sexiest image in the world? Is your bus arriving at the same time as you do? Oh yeah. You’re dripping.
Viagra: Add this to your plants when they’re wilting. Yes this somehow works.
Weed: The favorite pastime of the room next to yours. Don’t worry about the 2 am fire alarm.
X-Files: You know it, you love it, you recognize our back cover from it. Fangirl.
Yapping: Your professor’s favorite activity when you’ve shit yourself in class and people are starting to look at you.
Zyn: I find empty packs outside my apartment. God bless UClub. I have never felt less scammed.