Aiden Miller “Why the NHL’s hot, and the NBA’s not” was the infamous phrase printed by the now-defunct Sports Illustrated magazine after the New York Rangers’ historic Stanley Cup win against the Vancouver Canucks in June of 1994. Riding the coattails of that win—their first in 54 years (the 2nd longest Stanley Cup drought in history)—newly elected commissioner Gary Bettman and the National Hockey League (NHL) were touted as ‘saviors of hockey’ by reporters and…
Have You Got “The Right Stuff?”
By Logan Blakeslee Dating culture in the 2020s is an unmitigated disaster. Too often we hear reports about rising loneliness among men and the worsening effects of sexual objectification on women. Dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, or FarmersOnly.com once promised a tantalizing alternative to the task of talking to someone of the opposite sex. Instead of fumbling a pickup line at the bar or the workplace and facing a humiliating rejection, millions of Americans could…
Mitski Songs for Your Romance Woes
by Emily Portalatin Valentine’s Day is full of variety: while some people look forward to gifts and dates, others stress over situationships, delusionships, and relationships so troublesome that they may begin to research their attachment style. It can be difficult to grapple with the emotions that come with bad romantic situations. One way I find it helpful to work through any feeling is through music. It may sound cliche, but shouting, crying, or even simply…
“Sexapalooza” Makes Me Shudder
By Arthur O’Sullivan “Late Nite bought over one thousand dollars worth of sex toys for Sexapalooza this year.” So spoke my source from inside Binghamton University’s “Late Nite” organization, which provides food, programming, and all other forms of entertainment to those students awake and alert enough to enjoy them. As someone with the social and sleeping habits of a reclusive retiree, my experience with Late Nite is limited. On some occasions, I have enjoyed the…
The Case for a “Philosophy of Science” Course at Binghamton
By Arthur O’Sullivan With our multiple millions of dollars dedicated to research, Binghamton University is renowned for being an elite research institution. We employ Nobel Prize-winning professors, thousands of graduate students, and several expansive research facilities, all to advance the scientific enterprise. These things are all praiseworthy. In fact, I contend that scientific research is my favorite aspect of Binghamton University. (My experience as an undergraduate researcher made me apply for a Master’s here, after…
Reflections on the Revolutions in Binghamton: An Inquiry into the Vicissitudes of the Starry Corporation’s Takeover and its Phenomenological Implications
By Lambreau Demasi III, Esq. Imagine my shock—my Halloween horror—my delightful fright (defright!)—my unutterable outrage—as on my first day of campus, desiring a chilled beverage capable of quenching my sandblasted throat’s rapacious thirst, I make posthaste entry into the air-conditioned environ of Bartle Library, and descend its asymmetrical staircase to a place of my heart, an old stomping ground, my oasis—the vending machine wall, just to find a discommoding visage: on the machines’ facades, a…
The 10 Worst Things I’ve Ever Eaten
Angelo DiTocco If you’re an avid reader of Binghamton Review (as you should be), then you might remember an article I wrote in November called “How to Celebrate Thanksgiving in Today’s Economy.” In that article, I suggested that if you can’t afford to glaze your Thanksgiving turkey in cranberry sauce, then ketchup will do the job just fine. Or if Brie cheese is too expensive, you can just dip your crackers in mayonnaise or Cool…
The Decline of Western Civilization: The Rise, Fall, and Resurrection of the McRib
By Aiden Miller Those beautiful buns and saucy ribs. Oh, how I would love to devour that delectable meal. If you’re a pervert, you probably thought I was talking about your wife, but I’m actually referencing McDonald’s infamous McRib Sandwich. For the innumerable McDonald’s historians and certified fatties, this article is not for you. I’m solely here to educate the general public about the McRib, its history, and how the sandwich indirectly led to the…
“I’m Not Calling That Shit X”: A Rant
By Liam Steele Twitter, X, Y, Z, whatever the fuck they’re calling it now, has been at the forefront of free speech (i.e., giving literally every numpty with internet access a platform) for years. With its recent change-in-hands to everyone’s favorite manchild billionaire, Musk of Eel, the platform has expanded this free speech base and allowed everyone—even public figures not particularly favored by popular media for whatever reason (i.e., orange businessman, Chicago rap…
Milei’s Victory is Just the First Step
By Shayne O’Loughlin In a previous article, I took a journalistic approach to covering the curiosity that was Javier Milei, the libertarian Argentine presidential candidate, with a healthy balance of skepticism and optimism. No doubt that in a nation where a political ideology like Peronism has dominated politics for more than half a century, placing any bets on black would have been too dangerous a gamble. After the release of that article, the first round…
The Kentucky Conference or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Noah’s Ark
By Logan Blakeslee Astute readers of this publication may recall my article “Creationism in America: Faith turned Fanatical” from February of 2023. For those who have not read it, I highly suggest skimming through it before reading this follow-up, as it provides the context necessary to understand the basics of Young-Earth Creationism in the United States. With that said, I will now regale you with my experiences at the Ark Encounter in Williamstown, Kentucky. I…
What Comes After Tragedy
By Arthur O’Sullivan In writing this article, I intend, with the benefit of hindsight, to document and evaluate Binghamton University’s response to the student suicide of October 30, 2023. In doing so, I hope to give a guide for students who want to learn from and help prevent tragedy. This is not an easy article to write. Leaving aside the problem of tonal clash with this issue, there are a number of pitfalls that come…
Why We Need to Bring Back Vampires
By Madeline Perez When I was 7, I wrote and illustrated a “book” about vampires. I know this because I was so proud of my book, in the post-coital haze of my creation, I thought other people would not believe a 7-year-old could possibly have written it, so I put my full name and age on the front in colored pencil. I love vampires. I love their cool teeth. I love vague Catholic gesturing. But…
The Worst Game Ever Created
Angelo DiTocco We all need to be entertained from time to time. And unless you’re one of those people who only watches Netflix or Hulu or Peacock or whichever other one of the 15 big streaming services there are nowadays, you pass the time by playing games. However, some games are so bad that after playing them, you wish you had instead spent that time watching grass grow. There are a variety of reasons why…
In Defense of Originalism
By Logan Blakeslee It is no accident that in the separation of federal powers, as described by the Constitution, there is actually very little authority bestowed to the U.S. Supreme Court. Article III and its provisions offer an outline for how our nation’s judicial branch should function, and astute readers will quickly notice that the Constitution does not permit the Supreme Court to enact or enforce the law, but primarily to settle “controversies”—or in other…