Duolingo, Burnout, and Extrinsic Motivation

By Emily Portalatin Has anyone else noticed the inability for anyone to be consistent these days? People are always CHANGING THEIR MINDS and TRYING NEW THINGS. Geez, it’s not like humans are dynamic and ever-changing. Pick your thing, stick to it, and don’t even THINK about getting tired of it, even if it hurts! Back in MY day, it was cool and impressive to do the same thing for years, even if you no longer…

How to Cope and Seethe Like a Boss

Madeline Perez So, let’s engage in a thought exercise. You are a breathtakingly bodacious babe who is looking for a man to solve mysteries with. You have all the apps and programs: Kik, Chatroulette, Facebook Messenger… Suddenly, a message! Your hopes soar, but you are dismayed to find that some 45-year-old creep has just “*tips fedora*”’ed at you, and that’s the 10th time this week. Politely you decline, assuring him that his Ramona-Flowers-dream-girl/gamer is still…

“The Best College Life”

Bunzeey Greetings, fellow BU students! Ah, the joys of being at our esteemed backup university, where we’ve all surely dreamed of spending four glorious years in a college town devoid of vibrant nightlife, filled with controversial Greek life, and the absolute absence of any crime, not to mention the joy of mingling with the most basic of individuals. Now, let’s dive the essential steps for a college experience that will leave your friends green with…

The Art of Not Working

By S.G. Panini Sometimes you have a lot on your plate: worrying about classes, your stagnant relationship life, what to eat for lunch. Other times it’s just pure laziness. On rare occasions you’re amped and willing, but just can’t for some reason; some days are slower than others. The bottom line is you’re not gonna work. It happens… a lot, and I empathize with you. Today, I’m going to teach a masterclass on not working,…

Musical Theatre’s Power of Biblical Proportions

By Emily Portalatin Sorry, everyone. I don’t have time to write this article, I have rehearsal… is what I would say if I were a theatre kid! Got ya!!!!!!!! Okay, I am a musical fan, but we’ve all heard harsh rumors about the stereotypical “theatre kid”: a fan who publicly breaks into song, makes theatre their only trait, and expresses jealousy toward others in the theatre setting; a Rachel Berry type. I am no stranger…

The Cruel Implications of Toy Story 4

By Madeline Perez I have never hidden my disdain for the fourth Toy Story movie. Across previous articles and social interactions—even the passing thought of TS4 sends me into a rabid hysteria, wide-eyed and foaming, in which I tear apart the nearest small child or bunny rabbit. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone, as I’ve been told others have also criticized the movie—but in my ongoing effort to stay pure and original, I have…

The Shopping Lobe 

By Baddieline So–I was going about my day, browsing the interwebs, when I stumbled upon this really scientific article published by a website that also hosts quizzes like ‘Which Guy From the Office Would Find You Attractive Based on Your Favorite Fruit?’ (Michael Scott!! XD). The article said some really smart things about dopamine and how playing Minecraft is basically just like doing cocaine!!! Or even having sex, which I can’t confirm or deny since…

It’s-a Me! A Gamer’s Unwanted Opinion!

By Emily Portalatin Ah yes, April… not the most notable month of the year, but a fun month nonetheless with its fair share of holidays. There’s April Fool’s Day, but I personally refuse to be confined to one measly day of silliness. Who needs April Fools when I can shamelessly wear a metaphorical clown suit that jingles with each step every day of my life? And apparently April 4th is National Hug a Newsperson Day?…

The Ethics of Sink-Pissing

By Our Staff Pro: The porcelain throne is no throne, but in fact an electric chair, and we are all its victims. What Big Toilet has been espousing since the beginning of modern plumbing has been a disaster for the human race. Why, you ask? We have been convinced that the at-least 330 million toilets in the homes of the American public (one for every person) are “necessary” and “sanitary.” But let’s be honest: the…

Godzilla vs. Megalon: A Cinematic Masterpiece

By Logan Blakeslee On March 17, 1973, Japanese film audiences had the opportunity to experience a true tour de force that forever revolutionized special effects, artistic cinema, and storytelling itself. 50 years later, it stands as an underappreciated gem, a cult classic that only gets better over time. For the uninitiated, it’s a cheap blockbuster intended for children and their parents. For the enlightened, Godzilla vs. Megalon is peak kino. The characters are inspirational, the…

The Ritz Incident

By Naoto Shercock, P.I. There’s a storm brewing underneath the university campus. There, nearly 45 square miles of catacombs sprawl, are now forgotten to the dust and snow. Some say it was built there in the late 60s right around when the summer of love became the winter of revolution. When the great famine shook Vestal to its core, and when the Campus Communists made their greatest attacks on the establishment. This sort of thing…

Former Presidents Make Peace Through Gaming?

By Daniel Guido Something extraordinary has happened: As Winter finally subsides and the dawn of Spring is upon us, so dawns the beginning of a new age in America. It appears as though peace has finally been brought to the American political arena.  The big players in the American political scene, including former presidents and political commentators, have put away their petty squabbles and bickering to instead cooperate in a more reasonable manner. President Joe…

Who Wrote It: An Overworked AI, or Foucault?

By FoucaultFan46 How’s it hanging, pops? Anyone else need a cold shower after that sex issue? Euuuugh. Why we as a society socially constructed this social construct of slamming our moist meatlets together as some sort of ultimate desideratum is beyond me. I tell you, any pleasure gained from it is countervailed by the realization that you could be doing literally anything else and it would be infinitely more wholesome, like heroin.  Speaking of social…

The Asian-American Schooling Experience  

By: Midas Leung When I was growing up, my parents decided that it would be in their best interest to speak Cantonese the whole time to their kid, that being me, his entire childhood. Luckily, it would not have any long-lasting effects. But, in the short term, the kid was socially inept and unable to communicate nor speak outside of short phrases. Being different from everyone else was not really an issue: I always managed…

I Fell in Love with a SEX ROBOT??? (clickbait)

By Madeline Perez The year was 2016. As I found myself preoccupied with schoolbooks and the weight of being a misunderstood hot-topic-themed teen genius, my friends were also preoccupied with what I would call lesser trivialities—namely, a new mobile game called Mystic Messenger. Yes, the very one and same South Korean dating simulation game. Opting to take one last shot at conformity, I was peer pressured into downloading it, and for the next few weeks…