By Logan Blakeslee I feel a slight sting with every keystroke as I write my final piece for the Binghamton Review, the greatest student publication in the Southern Tier—nay, the world. Part of my struggle in putting my thoughts on the page is that I can scarcely believe that my time at Binghamton University is almost over. Like every other graduating senior, I will be receiving my horrifically overpriced diploma and then I will be…
The SA’s BDS Masochism
By Arthur O’Sullivan I no longer fear Hell. I have seen the SA. After writing six pages excoriating the appalling state of Israel-Palestine dialogue in academia, I hoped my last article would be my final word on the subject. Unfortunately—as so many statesmen have learned before me—this quagmire has a way of sucking people back in. Those who subjected themselves to my previous articles know that I have a bit of a pro-Israel bias. The…
BIG CORPORATION GIVES $ TO SCHOOL TO FUND AI RESEARCH
By Calan Ibrahim On March 26th, Bloomberg L.P. co-founder and Binghamton Alum Tom Secunda pledged to donate 5 million dollars to Binghamton University to help “to attract, recruit and retain tech talent, creating a pipeline for students to participate in the artificial intelligence economy of the future.” This is all in line and contingent on the passing of Governor Hochul’s Empire AI Initiative in the 2025 NY state budget. According to the governor’s website, “(Empire…
The State of Israel-Palestine Dialogue On Campus, Part II
By Arthur O’Sullivan My previous article created a timeline of events pertaining to the Israel-Palestine debate on campus, up to the February 14th Peace Quad protest. It was there that I interviewed my opposing sources for the article: Saul Hakim of the Binghamton University Zionist Organization (BUZO) and a local Palestinian organizer who asked to remain anonymous. This article aims to expand this timeline to the present and give a final verdict on the “state…
TRUMP WINS MOCK ELECTION AT BINGHAMTON UNIVERSITY
By Logan Blakeslee The implausible has become reality at our beloved Binghamton University. Not since Truman beat Dewey has this college been so thoroughly shaken to its core. Donald J. Trump proved victorious during the campus mock election held on March 18, 2024. It is this humble author’s opinion that these results reveal the hopes and reservations held by the larger student body, despite the relatively small sample size. Younger voters have made their dissatisfaction…
I have a really cool idea
By Heart-thur oh Soul-livan A specter is haunting Binghamton — the specter of incel-ism. There’s no use denying it: Binghamton Review, once the refuge of scholars, has degenerated into a bunch of malodorous men—more terminally online than a WiFi router—vomiting their written screed onto a Google document, clicking the “share” button, and sending their works of ‘genius’ to editor@binghmatonreview.com. There, the man behind the account, no less miserable than his writers (but now with a…
A Freshman, Requesting a Higher Grade
By Xanax Anaximander “If you want a picture of the future of academia, imagine ChatGPT stamping on a professor’s inbox—forever.” -Xanax Anaximander, 2024 I, Xanax Anaximander, have taught philosophy and politics for many years at Binghamton. Since 19-dickety-thrembo, students have always been grade-grubbing. By handwritten note, by email, by a rock thrown through my window at 3 am etc., students would invariably demand some absurd “round up” for their crappy grades. The notes at least…
If Gen-Eds Were Useful
Angelo DiTocco My experience of adjusting to college over two years ago was obviously not a cakewalk. There were a lot of aspects of higher education that I was not familiar with. But the one thing about this school that really made my eyes pop out and my jaw drop to the floor was the sheer amount of general education credits needed to graduate. This number sits at nearly a dozen for most of us,…
The State of Israel-Palestine Discussion on Campus
By Arthur O’Sullivan Over five months have passed since the outbreak of war in Gaza following the October 7th terrorist attacks on Southern Israel. The military response from the Israeli government and IDF has caused worldwide consternation. Debate rages at all levels; invocations of “genocide” are commonplace. All are forced to reckon with past and present wrongdoing. No part of the world is unaffected, not even Binghamton University. This is hardly surprising. Over one quarter…
The Lecture From Hell
Angelo DiTocco BINGHAMTON, NY, Feb. 8 – A local mathematics professor at New York’s “Premier Public Ivy” has reportedly held one of the most excruciatingly long class sessions in history, according to Jack Hutchington, a student in the class who had been planning to make a move on his female colleague that day. “What I went through has to fall under cruel and unusual punishment!” exclaimed Jack in an interview, still in traumatic shock from…
“Sexapalooza” Makes Me Shudder
By Arthur O’Sullivan “Late Nite bought over one thousand dollars worth of sex toys for Sexapalooza this year.” So spoke my source from inside Binghamton University’s “Late Nite” organization, which provides food, programming, and all other forms of entertainment to those students awake and alert enough to enjoy them. As someone with the social and sleeping habits of a reclusive retiree, my experience with Late Nite is limited. On some occasions, I have enjoyed the…
The Case for a “Philosophy of Science” Course at Binghamton
By Arthur O’Sullivan With our multiple millions of dollars dedicated to research, Binghamton University is renowned for being an elite research institution. We employ Nobel Prize-winning professors, thousands of graduate students, and several expansive research facilities, all to advance the scientific enterprise. These things are all praiseworthy. In fact, I contend that scientific research is my favorite aspect of Binghamton University. (My experience as an undergraduate researcher made me apply for a Master’s here, after…
Reflections on the Revolutions in Binghamton: An Inquiry into the Vicissitudes of the Starry Corporation’s Takeover and its Phenomenological Implications
By Lambreau Demasi III, Esq. Imagine my shock—my Halloween horror—my delightful fright (defright!)—my unutterable outrage—as on my first day of campus, desiring a chilled beverage capable of quenching my sandblasted throat’s rapacious thirst, I make posthaste entry into the air-conditioned environ of Bartle Library, and descend its asymmetrical staircase to a place of my heart, an old stomping ground, my oasis—the vending machine wall, just to find a discommoding visage: on the machines’ facades, a…
What Comes After Tragedy
By Arthur O’Sullivan In writing this article, I intend, with the benefit of hindsight, to document and evaluate Binghamton University’s response to the student suicide of October 30, 2023. In doing so, I hope to give a guide for students who want to learn from and help prevent tragedy. This is not an easy article to write. Leaving aside the problem of tonal clash with this issue, there are a number of pitfalls that come…
“Baxter Devouring His Son”
By Logan Blakeslee Much has been spoken and written about the clash between pro-life and pro-choice students at Binghamton University on September 18, 2023. It was the first big campus controversy of the semester and one that will be remembered for a terrible, disgusting reason. I will address that reason shortly. Before that, I will say that Binghamton University cannot claim that it is sending its best and brightest out into the world when its…