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by Patrick McAuliffe

A while back I did a little miniseries about the various hypocrisies on both sides of the “bourgeois political spectrum” (as our labor comrades like to call them). Personally, I enjoyed the “Hypocri-city” pun, but I’m very distraught to see that neither Republicans or Democrats have changed their tune about their basic philosophies. Democrats especially have doubled down on destroying themselves from the inside out with constant shows of being the most progressive and forward-thinking. Within the last couple of weeks (since January 25th, where the beginning of these tales begins), I’ve noticed some especially bad instances of “cannibaliberalism” as the left slowly eats themselves alive in the name of clinging to a progress-at-any-cost mentality.

On January 25th, licensed psychotherapist and sexuality counselor Ian Kerner published a piece for CNN entitled “Cuckolding can be positive for some couples, study says.” Starting with a discussion of “cuckservative,” Kerner cites multiple studies and surveys discussing the prevalence of cuckolding fantasies (58% of heterosexual men, and ⅓ of heterosexual women), and arguing that the arousal from the kink can lead to deeper emotional connection between couples. There is a history of race and bondage associated with cuckolding, but among homosexual couples, “interracial and BDSM themes don’t appear to be as common…as they are among heterosexual men.” One of Kerner’s sources explains the prevalence of the kink as arousing especially in a monogamous society, where people can engage in the taboo act to help get off. After reading this article, the title should be changed to something far more accurate, such as “Cuckolding is a surprisingly prevalent fetish, study says.” After that point in the article, the argument for engaging in cuckolding gets much more theoretical and far less empirical. Kerner cites specific people that should not engage in this kink, such as those with “a lot of relationship anxiety or abandonment issues, who lack intimacy and communication, and who aren’t careful, detail-oriented planners,” but nobody that specifically should. In this lame attempt to turn an insult into political and moral armor (much like SJWs attempts with “snowflake”), cannibaliberals further distance themselves from healthy, monogamous relationships that the majority of Americans have. It can only be insanity to try and dismantle monogamy, the social institution with the winning track record of all of human civilization.

Three major shit storms all occurred at once on January 28th, with the Grammys taking the award for two of them. First, Ed Sheeran won Pop Solo Performance of the Year, beating out an all-female list of other nominees, like Kelly Clarkson, Lady Gaga, Kesha, and P!nk (the last of which is the second-most famous artist with a symbol in their name, after Prince). First of all, if I was a sensitive cannibaliberal and was looking for problematic situations in modern society, I would angrily point out that all of these artists were white. Secondly, NowThis Entertainment posted on Facebook the day after the Grammys about how Sheeran won his Grammy for “Shape of You,” a song about a woman’s body, over four women artists, especially over Kesha’s song “Praying.” Why should such an overtly misogynistic song beat a ballad about a woman coming back from an abusive situation with her producer, Dr. Luke? The emphasis is that this song is a ballad, and can be incredibly popular, but nobody will blast Kesha downtown or at a party. The same critique goes for P!nk’s “What About Us”, which has a nice military-style beat to it but ultimately pales in comparison to the catchy tune and lyrics of “Shape of You.” I haven’t even heard Lady Gaga’s “Million Reasons” on the radio, and they play songs like that seven times a day at the very least. Finally, Clarkson’s “Love So Soft” lost because…sexism? I agree with the choice to give the Grammy to Sheeran (if I had to care about awards shows) primarily because “Shape of You” embodies all of what modern pop is about. There’s just enough of a story to keep the song moving, an incredibly catchy and upbeat tune, themes of modern hookup culture, and lots and lots of repetition. Sheeran won because he fit the criteria the best, which is how people win awards when they are nominated for them.

The second Grammy problem, after the one where you just don’t have enough room for your grandmother’s dessert after dinner, is something so helpfully pointed out by BBC. Bruno Mars and his album “24K Magic” stole the show at the Grammys this year, taking home six awards that included Album of the Year, Record of the Year, and Song of the Year. Kendrick Lamar and “Damn.” was a close second with five total awards. BBC’s report on the Grammys was titled, “Bruno Mars grabs (nearly) all of the Grammys – but where were the women?” Writer Mark Savage was quick to point out that of 86 awards in total, 17 were won by women or female-led bands. Mars, a Puerto Rican, Filipino, Ashkenazi Jew no longer checks off enough boxes to have his victory celebrated; his wins even apparently “robbed Kendrick Lamar’s more urgent, political album of the night’s main prizes.” For all the talk of seeing people of different backgrounds and experiences succeed, cannibaliberals can’t shake the notion of groups of people as monoliths, and once a member of an “oppressed” group becomes successful, the mantle of victimhood shifts somewhere else. This writer congratulates Bruno Mars on his wins, and for his talent as a musician in his own right.

For my final January 28th disaster, Pipe Dream writer Sarah Molano somehow manages to take an event of leftist resistance (the Women’s March) and make it problematic for trans women (read: biological men). The issue centers around the “pussy hat,” a modern symbol of feminist empowerment, and the assumption that this only empowers women with the corresponding parts. While the national Women’s Marches are done primarily with an anti-Trump sentiment, Molano believes that marching should be about “uplifting the most marginalized women out there.” While it’s great that white women come to march in protest against “grabbing by the pussy,” the real purpose of the March for Molano is to stand “against racism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia and all the other types of oppression that women everywhere face.” Will it really be enough, when all your grand designs are realized? When will the next marginalized class of monolithic people come to sweep away all the progress the other monoliths have struggled and fought and died for? They’re going to need to start planning next year’s March right now, and clear it with all possible parties impacted by the actions of the marchers. While cannibaliberals continue to tear themselves apart, keep it real here at Binghamton Review.




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