By Our Staff
It’s the time of year where crazy drunk college kids can lose themselves in the garb of someone else (and not just for your crossdressing folks, either.) If you’re out of ideas for this year’s spooktacular evening of tricks and treats, not to worry! Your friends at Binghamton Review have you covered with ideas that are sure to make you stand out at your Halloween party. Keep on reading and choose your favorite! If you decide to give them a try, tweet us (@bingreview) with the hashtag #CostumeReview in your costume and we’ll give you our take. Whether it’s one of ours or your very own, send them our way. Happy costuming!
Stormy “Horseface” Daniels
Ladies, you’ll hit the ground running with this eye-catching costume. Be sure your breasts are plenty exposed like a professional pornstar, and all you need to complete the outfit is a rubber horse mask. You’ll be capturing the true essence of America’s (and Drumpf’s) newest and most over-the-hill darling!
Any sexy army brat costume with a red arm band will work. This one pairs well with the slutty Anne Frank costume we recommended last year (but you can’t find anywhere on the Internet anymore…). Don’t try it if you aren’t at least a nein out of ten!
Protect yourself from hurtful words or offensive jokes (see the previous costume) in a thick layer of bubble wrap. Nothing gets past your barrier of comfort. One day you might leave and join the real world. Then again, Halloween is only one night; why not trick and treat in safety?
Binghamton Review Fan
These folx probably pick up our issues the most out of anyone from sheer anger. Black clothing and masks, chants of “Fuck 12,” and an inordinate amount of either dyed hair or piercings will help you fit right in to this winning crowd. We predict the outcome of your sociology degree… it’s on the tarot card on the front cover…
Kavanaugh in College
Swagger around with a shirt and tie in this recently-confirmed hit costume. You can be like a regular frat guy and proclaim your propensity for beer openly to anyone that will listen. For good measure, shotgun a few! Remember, you’re a virgin at the time of your Halloween party, scheduled neatly on your pocket calendar.
The “I’m Not Like Other Girls” Girl
Also known as the “Han Solo aesthetic,” these girls come in the same vein as the NPC. They’ll definitely make you miss grabbing their butt and eating pizza with them, a completely unique pastime to them.