By Our Staff
A – Asbestos – Currently being taken care of in the University Union and ignored in every other building on campus.
B – Binghamton Review: BU’s Last Refuge of Scholars; the only publication on campus that’s worth reading.
C – College in the Woods: Yes, that is weed you smell.
D – Deer: There’s a ton of these beautiful majestic creatures and they love to roam freely on campus. If you’re from Long Island, please refrain from running over one of these with your dad’s Jeep Wrangler.
E – Engineering Building: Most likely designed by Watson students because it’s perennially under repairs and in need of redesign.
F – Fleishman Center: The most underutilized resource available to students. Make an effort to go there at least once while you’re still in college.
G – Greek Life: Get ready to experience debilitating fatigue, failing grades, and maybe a serious drug problem the semester you get involved in this.
H – Hinman: RIP to the Hinman Dining Hall. Have fun walking up to App in the snow, Hinmanites!
I – Intelligence: You don’t really need it to get into Binghamton, but if you’ve got any you’ll be writing for the Binghamton Review.
J – Job & Internship Fair: The planned opportunity to network with potential employers that you’ll definitely forget to go to.
K – Karl Marx: History has not been kind to this revolutionary, seeing as every attempt to implement his ideas has resulted in mass starvation and totalitarian regimes. Regardless, every professor on campus will still try to instill his ideas in your head.
L – Lecture Hall: The home of bullshit introductory classes that no one goes to, and one of the best places to pick up the latest copy of The Binghamton Review.
M – Mountainview: The best dining hall, in the least convenient location.
N – Nature Preserve: You’ll visit this place once or twice while you’re here. If you’re lucky you might even catch some townies dropping acid.
O – Old Rafuse: The location of the new Binghamton Review office! Come on by, preferably on Tuesdays at 6 PM.
P – Pipe Dream: A collection of students pretending to be journalists, covering exciting and important topics such as “Pharmacy School waits on laboratory equipment” and “Bee pollinator boxes to be installed in Nature Preserve.”
Q – Quality Discussions: You won’t find many of these in your classes. You’ll have to actually leave your dorm if you want to talk to someone interesting.
R – The Rat: Don’t forget to bring an index card with “I’m 21” written on it or they might not let you in.
S – School of Management: The easiest school at Binghamton. Attendance is 90% of your grade and you’ll still get Cs.
T – Tully’s: HI HOW YA DOIN???
U – UPD: Yes, they are real cops. Yes, they can arrest you. Yes, you are being detained.
V – Vestal: BU’s actual location, with slightly more shopping centers and slightly less heroin than the real city of Binghamton.
W – Weather: Who needs Fifty Shades of Grey when the sky can do that anyway? For extra kink, it gets really fucking cold.
X – Xanax: We’ve got less of a prescription drug problem than the other SUNY schools but we’re still a state school, be sure to avoid this one at all costs.
Y – YouTube: Mostly just a platform for Joe Rogan to discuss using DMT to talk to extraterrestrial beings, and for awesome content on the new Binghamton Review channel. The rest of the website isn’t really worth your time.
Z – Zionist Organization: The second-largest group of yentas on campus.