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By Musclini

You are a sinner. At any given moment you are either thinking about your next alcohol experiment, casually taking in whatever substance, be it nicotine or marijuana, makes you feel normal again or desperately trying to get to, or fantasizing about, your next sexual release. If none of that applies to you, good. You are still a sinner and we’ll get to you some other time, but when I look at my peers, I see that the Boomers and Gen-X’ers have failed. Your genetic father wasn’t strong enough, and as a result you have turned against the Holy Father. There are so many ways you stubborn swine abandon The Church, but for the sake of keeping this piece relatively short, I am focusing on just a few ways you turn your back on God, your family, and least importantly, yourself.

You spend the entire week thinking about one or two nights that you spend poisoning yourself both physically and spiritually. You may think that it’s only your liver taking damage, but your soul is decaying more than you could ever imagine. Because of the degeneracy you subject yourself to every weekend, you are becoming a shell of your former self, with a personality reduced to drug addiction, rap lyrics, and The Office quotes. Side note, if you quote The Office, staple your upper lip to your lower lip and don’t remove the staple. Now on the topic of “going out”, I will put down a different set of standards for the genders, as women spend more time with children and need to remain pure. So if you are a girl, STOP, DO NOT GO OUT, EVER! If you are a guy, you can see your friends (sober), but you’re better off just doing some self improvement shit instead. Putting how your pathetic lifestyle affects YOU aside, while you’re looking around and saying “Yo, who’s throwing tonight?” and “Haha, yuh, I’m tryna get shmacked”, you probably have a little sibling or cousin talking about you, copying you, and trying to be just like you. For that alone, you should be locked away forever.

On the topic of your drug addiction, I think you subconsciously already know how bad you fucked up. All I’ll say is that God doesn’t want you to give your body back with damaged parts. You have to pay a fine for that, and that fine is hell. Also marijuana is addictive, and you are a poo poo brain if you think otherwise.

I won’t go too into the sex stuff because I plan on doing a larger piece on it for our godless and immoral February edition, but I’ll get the basic points through. Stop having sex. Sex is degenerate, impure, and will ruin you. I’m mostly talking to guys when I say this, because I think it goes without saying that women should save it for marriage. However, if you want to be strong, independant, and fight me on this, close your voice hole and google “divorce rates for women by number of non-marital sexual partners.” Now back to the men. Up until this point you have had your mind scrambled by media, pornogaphy, and your peers to judge your personal success by the number of sexual encounters you’ve had. Never have you considered that this ultimately turned you into a coochie slave, one desperate for the approval of females. You have reduced yourself to the status of a dog, and you will burn in hell if you continue to do this. But wait, there’s more, because before you get there, you will have to experience a lifetime of depravity and loneliness bundled up with a sense of meaninglessness, all contributing to your own personal living hell. Ever feel sick and depraved after watching porn? Don’t forget that feeling, it’s the only time you are honest with yourself. Again, I won’t dive too deep into this because Musclini will return in February to expand on this topic, but the general takeaway should be that you are sick. You will continue down a path of sexual deviancy until it ultimately gets the best of you. Unless you delay gratification by keeping it in your pants until marriage, you will be destroyed by your desires, and it will become a problem for the rest of us who actually build societies and keep its traditions. You will end up poisoning the next generation with promiscuity and perversion when they look to you for advice, and that is why I believe in big government. I don’t even care if your degeneracy is kept in the shadows, you need to be set straight. If it takes the all-mighty hand of the state to do that, so be it.
“Ummmm, you’re seriously advocating for the GOVERNMENT to control what goes on in the bedroom?”

So how will I, the glorious Musclini, conclude the verbal spanking I just delivered to the unwashed masses? I will guide you to the light. The best way I can do that, of course, being through extending an invitation to the Holy Church. Come back to God. And I know, I know, a third of this school is Jewish, but you guys have a moral code too, so just follow that… or convert. Atheists, on the other hand, you have no excuse. Atonement for one’s misdoings brings us closer to eternal paradise, but if you are too layman mode to comprehend this, there are other ways of thinking about these things. All of the females, boomers, and normies have already stopped reading, so I’m just going to put it in gamer terms. When you follow the path of righteousness and glory, whether that be putting down the vape, not masturbating, or grabbing dumbbells instead of bottles, you start to level up. With each level up comes permanent stat increases. These stats are things like confidence, happiness, and fulfillment. Was that clear enough? I’m not doing this amature preaching session just to boost my own self worth, I am doing it because I want you to improve yourself. When you do the right thing for yourself, the natural order rewards you for it (i.e. bigger muscles from lifting, eternal fulfillment from having children, not losing brain cells from alcohol abstinence, etc.) This power is great and all, but you will also gain the ability to effectively and honorably help others. Whether that be through giving advice, spreading happiness, or becoming a source of inspiration, you have potential. Now grow the fuck up and repent.

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