Advice Column: Do you need help with your problems? Well you’re in luck because we won’t provide any practical solutions.
Bitches: What you won’t be getting this semester.
COVID: This is most definitely over and we definitely aren’t seeing an uprise in cases already. I sure love to not hear professors complain about it over and over and over and over and over.
Dunkin’: Every afternoon, a wriggling, writhing mass of humanity manifests to block your way in the union when you have an important class. “Why?” You may ask. A stale donut and some coffee straight from the drainage pipe at Physical Facilities.
Evanescence: WAKE ME UP, no seriously, I keep nodding off in class.
Fitness: FITTIN’ THIS BING REVIEW ISSUE IN … your hands. Also my these nu- *dies of stroke*
Gay: What Binghamton Review has become. Happy :). Speaking of happy…
Happy Medium: Your girl is happy when she sees my medium ;). It’s perfectly average. Just like my PE-
Irish people: How come so many are in the Review if they all supposedly died in a famine?
Joker moment: What teachers will have if you sneeze in class.
Kill: What the intrusive voices are telling me to do.
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch: On the Welsh island of Anglesey, across the Menai Strait from the city of Bangor, sits Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, an unassuming old fishing village. Its 3,000 residents welcome more than 200,000 visitors every year, almost entirely on the strength of its 58-letter name.
Mountain View: For the students who sit on their big hill and judge the poories below.
Nirchi’s: Really took “lost in the sauce” too literally. It’s not the quality of pizza you want, but it’s the best you’re gonna get.
Office: The thing Binghamton Review STILL DOESN’T HAVE! THREE YEARS BABEY! LET’S GO METS!
Pseudointellectuals: “Have you read David Foster Wallace?” A plague which has devastated Bing Review members for far too long.
Questions: The things your professors will refuse to straightforwardly answer. Also, they hate you.
Roommate: Someone you may like right now but slowly will come to despise. Inevitably they’ll learn to hate you right back. Don’t worry about it though, humans weren’t made to share a 4×4 foot room.
Sex: Something you freshmen wil have a lot less of than you think. DO NOT take those free condoms in the union bathroom—you’re not going to use them.
The Good, The Based, and The Ugly: It’s good, it’s based, and it’s most certainly on our Youtube Channel!
Union Undergrounds: I am beneath you, BUT NOTHING IS BENEATH ME!
Vegan station: For double the price in CIW you too can learn to slowly starve. Seriously, binghamton dining services, vegans need to eat more than carrots.
Weather: Better enjoy the sun before it inevitably disappears for 6 months. Seasonal depressives, watch your back.
X-rated: Our members search histories.
You: Our favorite reader. 🙂
Zebra: Black, and white, but unlike us, it’s not read all over.