By Daniel Guido
Something extraordinary has happened: As Winter finally subsides and the dawn of Spring is upon us, so dawns the beginning of a new age in America. It appears as though peace has finally been brought to the American political arena.
The big players in the American political scene, including former presidents and political commentators, have put away their petty squabbles and bickering to instead cooperate in a more reasonable manner. President Joe Biden along with former presidents Donald Trump and Barack Obama have taken up video games as a way of connecting with each other in a more peaceful and bi-partisan nature.
As many of you may have already seen on sites such as TikTok and YouTube, the presidents have taken to playing video games such as Minecraft, Fortnite, GTA 5, and COD Zombies. They make videos with each other using the popular social platform, Discord, in which the three have fashioned personae for themselves. Biden or “Sleepy Joe” is known for falling asleep while on voice call and for his creepy remarks about women. Trump has presented himself as a funny yet very hot-headed bully akin to that of Eric Cartman from South Park. Lastly, Obama has fashioned himself as the level-headed mediator in the group with a dark past of drone-striking daycares in the Middle East. Together, these three big shots in the political scene have turned away from the boring political process of old and turned to solving their differences through video games and sleepovers at each other’s houses.
The group has also caught on to the popular trend of creating tier lists that rank various games, items, tv shows, food, etc.; the three have created many of these tier lists including but not limited to: Cod Zombies Maps, fast food restaurants, Lego Star Wars video games, Pixar moms, and gaming consoles. These videos often involve Trump and Biden clashing on many if not all topics brought up with Trump referring to Biden as “Sleepy Joe” and with Biden failing to make any meaningful comeback without Obama defending him.
The three have had many famous guests appear on video call, with them ranging from other former presidents to political commentators and even rappers. This includes big names like George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Joe Rogan, Ben Shapiro, Elon Musk, Walter Jr., Ice Spice, and Drake. They have even been able to talk with the spirits of Queen Elizabeth II and JFK. These guests have been in videos with the presidents, playing video games such as Minecraft, as well as providing advice in tier lists, with Ben Shapiro being known as very annoying and Drake as very sexually promiscuous, especially towards Trump whom he refers to as “Donnie.” Although these guests do not appear in many videos, it’s good to see this type of political discussion move beyond the field of politicians to include other important people of our time.
Although the three constantly argue and insult each other, it seems as though the three have become close friends. Their friendship truly represents that of a stereotypical healthy male friend group that makes fun of each other constantly but doesn’t take anything personally. They have made videos of each other having sleepovers at their parents’ houses and playing games such as UNO. They no longer care about petty ideas such as “left-wing” or “right-wing” and instead make videos on Buffalo Wild Wings menu items. They have put an end to the cut-throat politics of the past in a move that will inevitably be good for the state of the union. This type of bi-partisanship forged through video games and Discord voice calls is what George Washington intended in his farewell address condemning political parties. It will still be interesting to see if the gang will continue to make these videos together once the 2024 election heats up, possibly pinning Biden against Trump once again.
There have been some reports that potentially none of this is true and that these videos are created by random people using A.I. programs to voice the presidents. However, this cannot possibly be true as computers and so called “A.I.” are stupid and will never have the capability of replicating a real human voice. These sorts of ideas are spun by contemporary news outlets that don’t want us to believe the presidents can come together in a healthy way to resolve their differences through video games. They want us to continue to think that Trump and Biden view each other as the devil incarnate—that former president Trump continues to push fear amongst his supporters and believes the 2020 election was completely fraudulent while President Biden can barely make a coherent sentence and continues to ruin the economy beyond repair. Obviously, these rumors spun by the media cannot possibly be correct. Right?
Image Source: Know Your Meme (https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/gamer-president-ace-watkins)