By Baddieline So–I was going about my day, browsing the interwebs, when I stumbled upon this really scientific article published by a website that also hosts quizzes like ‘Which Guy From the Office Would Find You Attractive Based on Your Favorite Fruit?’ (Michael Scott!! XD). The article said some really smart things about dopamine and how playing Minecraft is basically just like doing cocaine!!! Or even having sex, which I can’t confirm or deny since…
It’s-a Me! A Gamer’s Unwanted Opinion!
By Emily Portalatin Ah yes, April… not the most notable month of the year, but a fun month nonetheless with its fair share of holidays. There’s April Fool’s Day, but I personally refuse to be confined to one measly day of silliness. Who needs April Fools when I can shamelessly wear a metaphorical clown suit that jingles with each step every day of my life? And apparently April 4th is National Hug a Newsperson Day?…
’87: The Secret History of Binghamton Review
By Arthur O’Sullivan (To the tune of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah) I heard there was a secret room Where Mangle was, in FNAF Two But you don’t really care for Foxies, do you? It goes like this, the vent, the hiss, Without the mask, he’s really pissed. It’s Mangle, and he bites in ’87. ’87. ’87. ’87. ‘eighty se-e-e-e-ven. Any zoomer born after 2002 can’t game. All they know is Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, charge they doors,…
The Ethics of Sink-Pissing
By Our Staff Pro: The porcelain throne is no throne, but in fact an electric chair, and we are all its victims. What Big Toilet has been espousing since the beginning of modern plumbing has been a disaster for the human race. Why, you ask? We have been convinced that the at-least 330 million toilets in the homes of the American public (one for every person) are “necessary” and “sanitary.” But let’s be honest: the…
Godzilla vs. Megalon: A Cinematic Masterpiece
By Logan Blakeslee On March 17, 1973, Japanese film audiences had the opportunity to experience a true tour de force that forever revolutionized special effects, artistic cinema, and storytelling itself. 50 years later, it stands as an underappreciated gem, a cult classic that only gets better over time. For the uninitiated, it’s a cheap blockbuster intended for children and their parents. For the enlightened, Godzilla vs. Megalon is peak kino. The characters are inspirational, the…
The Ritz Incident
By Naoto Shercock, P.I. There’s a storm brewing underneath the university campus. There, nearly 45 square miles of catacombs sprawl, are now forgotten to the dust and snow. Some say it was built there in the late 60s right around when the summer of love became the winter of revolution. When the great famine shook Vestal to its core, and when the Campus Communists made their greatest attacks on the establishment. This sort of thing…
Former Presidents Make Peace Through Gaming?
By Daniel Guido Something extraordinary has happened: As Winter finally subsides and the dawn of Spring is upon us, so dawns the beginning of a new age in America. It appears as though peace has finally been brought to the American political arena. The big players in the American political scene, including former presidents and political commentators, have put away their petty squabbles and bickering to instead cooperate in a more reasonable manner. President Joe…
Who Wrote It: An Overworked AI, or Foucault?
By FoucaultFan46 How’s it hanging, pops? Anyone else need a cold shower after that sex issue? Euuuugh. Why we as a society socially constructed this social construct of slamming our moist meatlets together as some sort of ultimate desideratum is beyond me. I tell you, any pleasure gained from it is countervailed by the realization that you could be doing literally anything else and it would be infinitely more wholesome, like heroin. Speaking of social…
The Walls are Closing In
By Madeline Perez “Making your way in the world today takes everything you got,” or so says the hit theme from the ‘80s sitcom “Cheers.” This statement rings true for many, and probably goes double for you starving, broke college students. But I’m here to ask: Does it? Does making your way (in the world today) truly “take everything you [sic] got?” And what happens if you’ve given “everything you got” and, due to isolative…
I’m Running for S.A. President to Abolish Parking Services
By Logan Blakeslee Binghamton University Parking Services sits somewhere at the intersection of greed and incompetence. Besides Sodexo, there is no presence on campus that is more universally reviled than Parking Services, and for good reason. Its policies have become more draconian over time and are deliberately designed to extract as much money from students as possible. I decided that enough was enough after hearing several dozen stories about unfair ticketing or the absurd inconsistencies…
An Interview with Logan Blakeslee, SA Presidential Hopeful
By Arthur O’Sullivan If you thought election season was over, think again! In November, we voted for a bunch of politicians in far away places. This coming Sunday, we’ll be voting for our Student Association members. Unlike high school, this student government has the opportunity to influence campus life for everyone: cutting or increasing student costs, aiding or protesting administrative abuses, fighting for or against student interests. It all depends on who gets elected. To…
The Case For Linguistic Universalism
By Shayne O’Loughlin Within translation theory there exists sources of constant debate among scholars in just how we ought to translate works between languages. Among these debates are those between “linguistic universalism” and “linguistic relativism,” and their respective 20th century proponents Noam Chomsky and the dynamic duo of Edward Sapir and Benjamin Whorf. To summarize into horribly dubious simplicity, linguistic universalism posits that all concepts are translatable, whereas linguistic relativism posits that language impacts the…
The Asian-American Schooling Experience
By: Midas Leung When I was growing up, my parents decided that it would be in their best interest to speak Cantonese the whole time to their kid, that being me, his entire childhood. Luckily, it would not have any long-lasting effects. But, in the short term, the kid was socially inept and unable to communicate nor speak outside of short phrases. Being different from everyone else was not really an issue: I always managed…