By Patrick McAuliffe My Twitter account (@sadtrickmcawful, shameless plug) has become an official Andrew Cuomo hate account over the past few weeks. Back in October, I cataloged the Cuomo administration’s deliberate miscounting of the deaths in New York’s nursing homes, which the major news outlets have finally gotten around to reporting about. By itself, this should be enough to immediately remove Big Fredo from the governorship and destroy his public reputation, as he allegedly threatened…
SA Presidential Interview: Logan P Blakeslee
So why don’t you introduce yourself and explain why you should be SA President, briefly? As you already know, my name is Logan Blakeslee, and I’ve been involved in the SA for about two-and-a-half years now. Before that, I attended SUNY Broome as a freshman, where I was elected as a Student Senator and later Vice President of Student Affairs. These days I represent OC3 in the SA Congress. I feel as though I would…
St Patrick’s Day: A Reflection on Identity Politics
By Wuhan Wong When mentioning St Patrick’s Day, one often conjures the alluring images of green clad leprechauns and soft harps playing on a green pasture. Some take this day as an opportunity to pompously display their Irish heritage, while others use it as an excuse to consume vast quantities of alcohol. However, the geographical region most associated with this day, Ireland, serves as an exemplary display of how identity politics is dangerous. After the…
GME Stonks: Is It Legal?
By Julius Aposta I’m going to start this article off in a way completely different from most Binghamton Review articles: with a disclaimer. I am, by no means, a financial or legal expert; if at some point I seem to be questioning the legality of specific tactics or strategies employed by certain groups, take this speculation with a grain of salt. Nonetheless, I do want to talk about something I am passionate about: trading stocks.…
Boy, I Wish I had a Dining Hall
By Madeline Perez I woke up tied to a chair. “Kinky,” I thought, but now wasn’t the time for that. As my hazy vision started to clear, I recognized the musty atmosphere of what could only be the electrical closet near the Underground Commons. I tugged at the rope that bound my wrists together behind me. Wouldn’t budge. I hadn’t encountered knot-tying this skilled since my altercations with the Boy Scouts of America. While wondering…
The Most Smashable Smash Bros. Character
By Matt Gagliano What’s up gamers! After the amazing reception I received from my last Super Smash Bros. article (and by “amazing reception” I mean one of my friends checking up on me to make sure I didn’t have a stroke while writing it), I decided what better way to kick off the spring semester than with another Super Smash Bros. article? Seeing as this is the Sex Issue of Binghamton Review, this is the…
Have Anal Sex, Bigot
By Patrick McAuliffe Straight men of the world, have you ever wished that your girlfriend or friend with benefits would attach a silicone penis to their pelvis and introduce you to the wide world of pegging? Have you ever wanted to introduce the concept of a prostate orgasm to your partner of any sex, but don’t know how to go about it? Have you ever, for once in your life, thought about how your participation…
How to Give Head Like a Pink Haired Girl
By Sara Traynor Love is in the air this Valentine’s season. But after the roses are purchased and the chocolate is eaten, it all comes down to this: can you give head like a pink-haired girl? If you want to up your blowjob game, these five special tips will definitely help. 1). Eye Contact Rule Number One of giving great blowjobs is making eye contact. Men love it when you blankly stare into their eyes…
Imagine Your Heart Isn’t Just In Your Chest
By Kaly Otero Love your enemy takes on a whole new meaning when it’s the face looking back in the mirror or the critical voice housed in your thoughts. It’s the she-devil telling you that you’ve reached out one too many times and he just doesn’t care about you. It’s the love handles that wrap around you, reminding you of all the times you’ve sought comfort, and where you can find more if you need…
A Deep Dive Into Dick Jokes
By Madeline Perez When I was in 10th grade, my life was changed forever. While my class was taking a math test, a boy suddenly stood up and made his way to a desk haphazardly placed in the front of the room. Curious. Though we were balls-deep in geometry, a different brand of confusion swept over me and my peers. Moments after sitting down in this new seat, the student broke every societal law and…
Binghamton University: Budget/PR First, Student Health Second
by Thomas Loos SUNY at Binghamton had a robust COVID-19 plan for the Fall 2020 Semester. With an initial goal of staying below 100 COVID-19 positive students, faculty, or staff on a two-week rolling period, the University implemented a variety of precautions and policies in order to keep students safe. Currently, the Restarting Binghamton web page lists the University’s goals as being: § Protect the health and safety of everyone associated with the University: students,…
Sexy-Spy-Times
by Julius Apostata Picture this scenario: you’re a political candidate for the United States House of Representatives in 2014. Maybe you were elected back in 2012 and you’re running a reelection campaign. And, for the sake of argument, you need money. Naturally, your campaign needs to raise funds so you can get back in office and grow your powerbase. So you do just that; holding fundraising events and telling everyone that they should donate to…