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By I Hate Dale

I’m tired of constantly pulling up Instagram to look at some big titty hoes and seeing that purple circle around the profile picture of some loser I went to high school with, and it’s another copy-paste on why their political opinion is superior to someone else’s. Not only does this interrupt the stories of the people I want to see (the big booty bitches), but honestly it’s sad to see someone who thinks someone cares about their “unique” opinion. I hate to say it, but Dale from high school needs to accept the reality that there is no Easter Bunny, there is no Tooth Fairy, and there are no good politicians. 

Let’s be real here. Your political opinion has never and will never have any real impact on the world and those around you (unless you have a lot of money and power). The only real entities that have any say in how our country will run are the massive corporations that continuously lobby our presidential and political figureheads for “favors.” For example, the main reason our healthcare is so messed up is that despite all of the politicians promising solutions, health insurance providers like Blue Cross/Blue Shield spend a yearly 25 million on lobbying to keep health insurance super difficult to understand in order to jack up the prices of health care. 

We have all seen those memes where there is a charge on the hospital bill for “skin-to-skin contact with baby” after a birth. It seems like most hospitals are literally just making up arbitrary charges as they go along. My point of bringing up health care is to show the lengths to which politicians will sell their souls for chump change. All politicians are evil and thinking that any one of them is good is laughable. They are soul-sucking succubi that do not care about you or how you live as long as they are on their throne of power and non-disclosure agreements. They will do whatever it takes to remain there, and so whenever I see people like Dale and other “politically active” individuals it makes me want to do to them what Obama did to those in Kunduz hospital.  Politics is just a convenient way to make people feel heard without them actually having a voice. 

In the YouTube video “Corruption is Legal in America,” the speaker discusses a Princeton study on whether or not the United States is a republic. In this video, it is defined that in an ideal republic, if the population is 100% in support of something there should be a 100% likelihood this new law gets passed. But in reality, when congress votes on a law in the United States, if 0% of the population wants this law it has a 30% likelihood of being passed. This is strange… How come in a “free” country, with no individual in support of a hypothetical law, why would there still be a 30% likelihood of this new law being passed?  What’s even crazier is that even if a law is in 100% support of the public, there is only a 30% chance it will be passed. Whether no one or everyone supports a law is irrelevant; we still only have a 30% likelihood of a law being passed or overturned. This same study also found that “The opinions of the bottom 90% of income earners in America has essentially no impact at all.”  

I’m tired of the same old arguments I see every day on social media on how my old man is better blah blah blah. This data is disturbing and the eternal battle of democrats vs republicans is the perfect way to cover up all the corruption and lies. While we fight meaningless battles with relatives across the Thanksgiving table, the power-hungry elite slowly takes more and more control over us.  If you don’t believe me, this is what the Princeton study ultimately concluded in their own words, “The preferences of the average American appear to have only a minuscule, near-zero, statistically non-significant impact upon public policy.” 

If you want to see anything really happen with your pointless boring Instagram stories, direct it at politicians and let them know how dirty and corrupt they are. Our government should not be the one controlling us—we should be controlling it. We need to put more pressure on the government to make lobbying illegal to prevent corruption at the highest levels of our government. Only then will your attention-seeking Instagram stories will mean anything. Anyways, this was my Ted Talk, I’m going back to looking at big titty hoes. 

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