By Our Staff
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s SA election season. That annoying time of year when you’re bombarded with flyers and social media posts about candidates you know nothing about, who are running for positions you know nothing about. Six SA Executive Board positions are up for election, and to make matters even more confusing for the vast majority of students that do not give a shit, all six positions contain the word “President” in their title. Without further ado, let’s meet the candidates.
President
Kahleel James is running unopposed for Student Association President. He is the current Vice President of Multicultural Affairs, but wants to make the jump to President next year because “our community needs guidance.”
Executive Vice President
Maggie Koekkoek is running unopposed for Student Association Executive Vice President. If elected, her goals include “restructuring our mandatory leadership conferences, enhancing communication from and accessibility to the EVP office, and placing an emphasis on effective transitioning for newly elected leaders of our student organizations.” She also has more Ks in her name than any other candidate, with a whopping four (which is significantly better than three Ks).
Vice President for Finance
Jacob Eckhaus is running unopposed for Student Association Vice President for Finance. If elected, he plans to “increase the scope of the advisor program and further the amount of group outreach coming from [his] office.”
Vice President for Multicultural Affairs
David Hatami is running unopposed for Student Association Vice President for Multicultural Affairs. He wants to “forge a strong, positive relationship between the student body and University Administration,” which he claims is an important step toward “addressing the inadequate University responses to numerous incidents within the past few semesters.”
Vice President for Programming
Sophia Cavalluzzi is running unopposed for Student Association Vice President for Programming. As Vice President for Programming, she says she will “keep campus informed” and “attend organization meetings of those groups who would like to meet and take notes on their feedback.”
Vice President for Academic Affairs
Joshua Dorfman is running for Student Association Vice President for Academic Affairs. He claims that his platform “stands on five significant pillars: mental health, physical wellbeing, student advising, learning workshops, and auxiliary academic resources.” His last name is also Dorfman, which should probably earn him some pity votes.
Our Endorsements
Since every single candidate is running unopposed, our endorsements should be fairly obvious. We endorse writing in Musclini for every position. An election in which there is only one option to “choose” from is hardly an election. Every candidate is guaranteed to win the position they are running for – unless a write-in receives more votes. For this reason, we endorse writing in Musclini – everyone’s favorite Binghamton Review contributor – instead of voting for any of the declared candidates. #VoteMusclini