By Our Staff
- Post communist propaganda on Tumblr
- Catch up on reading Marx
- Simp your favorite e-girl
- Complain about Donald Trump on Twitter
- Pretend to pay attention to your professor’s Zoom lectures
- Cry
- Sleep on your mountain of hoarded hand sanitizer
- Stan Alexandria-Ocasio Cortez
- Finish writing your intersectional LGBTQAAIP2+ Five Nights at Freddy’s fan fiction
- Nothing
- Something
- Watch CNN
- Screech about how the world is ending
- Use Binghamton Review as toilet paper, since you can’t buy any at the stores
- Subtweet the Binghamton Review Editor-in-Chief on Twitter
- Read Binghamton REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
- Paint(ing), A lot of paint(ing)
- Fantasize about raiding the closed businesses
- Drugs
- Come up with a list of things to do while in self-quarantine
- Laugh at all the capitalist pigs that lost money on the stock market
- Smash the patriarchy
- Watch Ghostbusters (the 2016 remake, obviously)
- Cook some organic, vegan, gluten-free food
- Become a cannibal (bonus if the person you eat is rich)
- Pirate the movie Barnyard: The Original Party Animals
- Read the book based on the movie Barnyard: The Original Party Animals
- Write angry letters to BAE Systems
- Maybe play some video games or something
- Spit on pictures of Mike Pence
- Scream at the wall about the 1%
- Reduce carbon emissions
- Stop cows from farting
- Hug a tree
- Pat yourself on the back for saving the environment
- Pat yourself on the back because you vote Democrat and are therefore a good person
- Pat yourself on the back just because
- I think you’ve earned another pat on the back
- Another!
- One more
- That should be fine
- Ok, stop now please
- Seize the means of production
- Seize the memes of production
- Seize the means of production again
- Seize. Because you’re epileptic
- Listen to BROCKHAMPTON
- Listen to Rex Orange County
- Can’t have a quarantine without Radiohead
- Watch Samatha Bee – the funniest woman on television!
- Watch John Oliver – the funniest Brit on YouTube!
- Say “Orange Man bad”
- RUSSIA BAD!
- UKRAINE BAD!
- Impeach Drumpf!
- Shit, we’re really running out of ideas aren’t we?
- Check for spelling errors on your protest signs
- Add spelling errors to your protest signs
- Abort some babies
- Regret voting for Jill Stein in 2016
- Make fun of Christians for believing in a magical flying man that lives in space
- Hate on the Jews, oops I mean Israel
- Masturbate
- …to furry porn
- Contemplate sue of side
- It’s gonna take a lot to take me away from youuuuuu
- There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever doooooo
- I’ll bless the rains down in Africaaaaaaa
- Nice
- Gonna take some time to do the things we never haaaaaaaaaad
- Doo doo doo doo doo doo doooooo
- Protest Toto for cultural appropriation (they’re not even from Africa!)
- Wash your hands
- Remember that Kamala Harris was a prosecutor
- Therefore she is a cop
- And therefore racist (PERIODT)
- Indoctrinate some children
- Sleep
- Wake (me) up
- WAKE ME UP INSIIIIDE
- Can’t wake up
- WAKE ME UP INSIIIDE
- Remember that Trump is still president
- SAVE MEEEEE
- Call my name and save me from the dark!
- Write one sentence as a group
- (Seriously, it’s harder than you think when you have five people on one Google Doc)
- Luckily the more people writing at once, the more communisty the results
- The joke is getting really old, but at this point we’re determined to make it to 100
- Go to your shrine of BreadTubers and pray (Shit, aren’t we supposed to be atheist?)
- Think back about that one time Free Press reviewed Phineas and Ferb hentai
- Think back about that one time, at band camp…
- Yell at black police officers for being racist in Amerikkka
- If we don’t get it, shut it down (ECONOMICS IS HARD)!
- Polish your katana collection (you’ll need them for the revolution)
- Feed your 20 cats
- Take a hit of your Mountain Dew Juul pods
- Tip your fedora to womxn
- Complain that there aren’t enough obese nonbinary womxn of color in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
- Holy f**k we actually did it
- Dalmations