Target “Tugboat” Thatcher Preface: Every four years, the impending doom of the Presidential election looms over the heads of millions of median voters across the great state of America. Both the Republican and Democratic nominees and their respective handlers have, yet again, become the talk of the landfill that is Twitter (X sounds like a porn site, so I’ll refrain from repeating or using it). However, a new figure has entered the presidential dogfight, and…
I have a really cool idea
By Heart-thur oh Soul-livan A specter is haunting Binghamton — the specter of incel-ism. There’s no use denying it: Binghamton Review, once the refuge of scholars, has degenerated into a bunch of malodorous men—more terminally online than a WiFi router—vomiting their written screed onto a Google document, clicking the “share” button, and sending their works of ‘genius’ to editor@binghmatonreview.com. There, the man behind the account, no less miserable than his writers (but now with a…
Do Democrats Dream of MAGA Sheep? A Transmission from the Future.
By Arthur O’Sullivan Editor’s note: I’ve received some strange articles in my time as Editor-in-Chief, but I’ve never seen an article like this. The other day, “Arthur O’Sullivan” had sent me an article from an email I didn’t recognize. I had no memory of writing the message therein. Nevertheless, he bore all of my style and mannerisms, not to mention him knowing many private details of my life. To that end, I’m forced to believe…
“An Otaku’s Official Top Ten Waifu Ranking”
By Edward Lamarck Everybody wants one, nobody’s got one. This April Fool’s Day, I am drawn to thinking of a warm Spring season. I think of the birds and the bees, of flowering and deflowering, and most of all: fertility. What better time of year to drop my objectively correct assessment of waifus from different anime, manga, and JRPGs? I will do my best to justify my choices and pray that they are not used…
A Freshman, Requesting a Higher Grade
By Xanax Anaximander “If you want a picture of the future of academia, imagine ChatGPT stamping on a professor’s inbox—forever.” -Xanax Anaximander, 2024 I, Xanax Anaximander, have taught philosophy and politics for many years at Binghamton. Since 19-dickety-thrembo, students have always been grade-grubbing. By handwritten note, by email, by a rock thrown through my window at 3 am etc., students would invariably demand some absurd “round up” for their crappy grades. The notes at least…
Italian-Americans Are The Real Italians
Angelo DiTocco As a third-generation descendant of Italian immigrants, it’s not very often that I think about my heritage. The idea of being “Italian” is more of a simple fact about me than a way of life. I can only name a couple of cities in Italy, and my knowledge of the language only goes about as far as moving my hands around while repeating “boppa di boopi”. And although some may view my culture…
A Peek into Modern-Day China
Midas Leung Many don’t know nor care about what’s happening in China, as the world almost exclusively focuses on events in the Middle East. But in China, shit’s brewing: stock and housing market crashes, jobs on the decline, a college degree will get you a manual labor job. The economy is on a decline and since the “one-child” policy, fewer children can take care of their parents. Many of these kids who have dim prospects…
If Gen-Eds Were Useful
Angelo DiTocco My experience of adjusting to college over two years ago was obviously not a cakewalk. There were a lot of aspects of higher education that I was not familiar with. But the one thing about this school that really made my eyes pop out and my jaw drop to the floor was the sheer amount of general education credits needed to graduate. This number sits at nearly a dozen for most of us,…
True Story: I Crossed The Border
By Barbara Alexandra Zavala Pinto I will begin writing the most important text of my life by saying thank you. Thank you to Koen Gieskes, my freshman year professor for EDD, whom I once promised this story to (I thought I’d never see him again for a while), and Arthur O’Sullivan, the Editor-in-Chief whose encouragement gave me the confidence to write my full story. I’ve decided to forego the simplicity of a quiet life with…
The Right Should Abandon The Gender War
By Shayne O’Loughlin “There are only two genders,” proclaims another picket sign in front of yet another school board in some suburban town. This image conjures up the apparent last resistance of the right-wing en masse to ‘protect our children’ from the ‘pervasive practice’ of gender ideology. It’s not uncommon to hear a boomer reminisce on the halcyon days when “you were either a boy or a girl” while watching yet another Fox News piece on…
The Bettman Blues
Aiden Miller “Why the NHL’s hot, and the NBA’s not” was the infamous phrase printed by the now-defunct Sports Illustrated magazine after the New York Rangers’ historic Stanley Cup win against the Vancouver Canucks in June of 1994. Riding the coattails of that win—their first in 54 years (the 2nd longest Stanley Cup drought in history)—newly elected commissioner Gary Bettman and the National Hockey League (NHL) were touted as ‘saviors of hockey’ by reporters and…
The State of Israel-Palestine Discussion on Campus
By Arthur O’Sullivan Over five months have passed since the outbreak of war in Gaza following the October 7th terrorist attacks on Southern Israel. The military response from the Israeli government and IDF has caused worldwide consternation. Debate rages at all levels; invocations of “genocide” are commonplace. All are forced to reckon with past and present wrongdoing. No part of the world is unaffected, not even Binghamton University. This is hardly surprising. Over one quarter…
Bing Review’s Sex Songs
By Our Staff Some may read this magazine and think, “man, Bing Review must have absolutely NO sex.” To this we say, “nuh uh.” We have plenty of sex, not just with your mom, but with HER mom too. And when we do it, we like to have some music playing in the background because we’re just cool like that. The following is a selection of our favorite songs for our (many) sexual escapades. She…
Have You Got “The Right Stuff?”
By Logan Blakeslee Dating culture in the 2020s is an unmitigated disaster. Too often we hear reports about rising loneliness among men and the worsening effects of sexual objectification on women. Dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, or FarmersOnly.com once promised a tantalizing alternative to the task of talking to someone of the opposite sex. Instead of fumbling a pickup line at the bar or the workplace and facing a humiliating rejection, millions of Americans could…
Mitski Songs for Your Romance Woes
by Emily Portalatin Valentine’s Day is full of variety: while some people look forward to gifts and dates, others stress over situationships, delusionships, and relationships so troublesome that they may begin to research their attachment style. It can be difficult to grapple with the emotions that come with bad romantic situations. One way I find it helpful to work through any feeling is through music. It may sound cliche, but shouting, crying, or even simply…